I hear people often say, "I just don't understand why this is happening to me!" Heck, I've been guilty of it myself. In some ways, it's human nature to sometimes think that the universe is conspiring against us. But is it really? I would say that if you heighten your awareness, you'll be able to see that so much of what is going on in your immediate moment is the result of past choices. Every choice we make in the moment sends a reaction our way at some point.
Leaders are often in this same boat. "I just don't understand why my team isn't performing." What they fail to see is that their team is struggling because of decisions that were made early in the project. Things like meeting rhythm, work review times, and even one-on-one meetings can affect performance down the line. Especially troublesome are work packages that haven't been scoped correctly, adequately funded, or appropriately staffed. These early project decisions can wreak havoc on work efforts down the line and leave many wondering why the project has become so difficult, so behind, or even so expensive. At this point, people tend to search for blame.
This perspective isn't just limited to the work place. Individuals wrestle with it on a regular basis, too. Often we see this played out in the context of relationships, health, and even financial stability. Some partners go through life without being sensitive or aware of their partner's needs. They then wonder why their partner lashes out, is distant, or even angry. They get sick and lament that illness happens to them while not affecting others. Some wonder why they have such a low balance in their bank account and why they can never seem to get ahead. Sure, certain challenges in life are going to come up, but so many of these situations are created by decisions we made long before they ever came to light.
Life isn't just happening to you. Work isn't just happening to you. Yes, it's happening — but so much of it is playing out just the way you designed it. As you work to focus on your own awareness and become more and more conscious of the decisions that you make on a daily basis, you have to stop asking the question, "Why is this happening to me?" The better question to be asking is "What did I do that brought this about or allowed it to play out in this way?" In asking that question from a greater sense of awareness, we can begin to acknowledge that we had a hand in creating the situation in which we find ourselves. Once we acknowledge that, we can begin to design how we will have a hand in getting ourselves out of unwelcome situations. It's not about blame at all. It's about control. Control of your own life. Your own workspace. Control over making your life what you want it to be. It's time to consciously live, lead, and be more in touch with ourselves and the world around us.